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Overcome Resistance




 

Habits are more than just actions. Habits are intangible as well. The way you think, your emotional responses, and aspects of your personality for example are all habitual. Self doubt, being optimistic, lashing out when people disagree with you…these are all just as habitual as you going to the gym, driving, or the order in which you make coffee. 


But habits are not a bad thing! Often they are only spoken of when someone speaks of their “bad habits,” but not having to relearn how to drive, tie your shoes, or log into your work computer each time you do it saves you a lot of time and energy. 


I bring all this up though this weeks topic is resistance because when the mind stores something as a habit - weather good or bad - it is filed under the ‘known’ category. How to do it and what will come of it is predictable and therefore considered safe. Resistance often happens when one is either trying something completely new or trying to change a habit; both of which the brain is deeming “unsafe.” The doing of the new and the result of such is not predictable and therefore is uncharted territory. Our subconscious wants to keep us safe. It desires very simple things: food, shelter, relationships, and fun...when something new comes along and potentially threatens one of these core needs there is hesitancy and resistance. 


There are plenty, but lets go over four common causes of resistance:


  1. A belief of incapability

  2. Impatience

  3. Fear of failure and fear of success. 


A BELIEF OF INCAPABILITY


There are people that know less than you, don't want it as bad as you, and whose intentions may not be as pure as yours, living the life you want as the person you desire to be and having the things you daydream of having.


If it was done once, it can be done again.


The biggest difference between you and these people is belief. They believe they can, hand and hand with 


Everything you know now, you once did not know. You have the capability to learn and therefore you have the capability to put forth action with your current knowledge which will allow you to then learn even more as you go.


Knowledge is power. And there are two ways you can begin to educate yourself right now! The internet, and experience. 


IMPATIENCE

 

It will take time. Your excitement for the change may very well cause you to want it and want it NOW! But would you buy a house that the contractors rushed to build? Or a house in which the proper time and attention was given to it?


In the same way you’d prefer a house with a solid foundation, your dreams and goals will better be sustained over a long period of time if proper time and care is given to the foundation of your creation. 


To rush is a fearful energy, fearful that if it doesn't happen now or fast it wont happen at all. 


It doesn’t have to take a lifetime, but it also will not take a week. Remind yourself that it will take time, and it deserves the time it will take. Honor your dream and goal and future self with patience, care and attention. 


FEAR OF FAILURE AND SUCCESS


No one likes to be wrong, feel silly, be made fun of, or be made to feel inferior - and that is exactly what the mind assumes will happen if we fail. That becomes something didn't work out the first time or the first few times not only have you failed, but you ARE a failure. 

Do you think that ANYTHING we use or have in society was created to perfection on the very first try? No. 


And given that life as we know it now is comfortable, when we become successful things will change. We may have more money, status, fulfillment, happiness, etc and it is true that what we have in life now is based on the foundation of who we are now and so when we change who we are, the things and relationships we currently have will either change too, or cease to exist.


But why is that bad? What you have now is aligned with the person you are now, and so when you change, grow, or differ, the new that enters your life will be aligned to the new you too.


NOW WHAT


  1. Be kind to your mind as you go from A to B. To not is like taking a child from one school and town to another with no guidance, explanation, or space given to grieve. It will be scary, sad, and lonely without your care.

  2. Remember that knowledge is power and knowledge can be gained through research and experience. You are fully capable of learning anything needed to fulfill your dream

  3. It will take time, keep in mind that the time it is taking is allowing you to create a solid foundation so that your dream or goal is sustained

  4. Things will change, but it is change for the better. You will get things wrong, you will fall down but that says nothing about you other than you are brave enough to try,


Because frankly, you're worth it.

xoxo Stephanie

 

meditation (click on the word)

 

Journal Prompts

  1. What have I wanted to do/change but have taken little to no action toward it?

  2. What are both the best case and worst case scenarios if I begin to take consistent action? (the idea here is to show yourself that nothing detrimental will happen simply by taking action toward a goal, and also give yourself something to envision and work toward)

  3. What is one thing I can do on a weekly basis to begin working toward my desired change/goal?

  4. How can I combat resistance (kindly) when it arises? List 3-10 ways.


 

Action Steps

  1. TAKE ACTION - start weekly, increase as your confidence builds

  2. Start speaking to yourself as you would your best friend, child, or child self

  3. Celebrate and document your wins - no matter how big or small

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